Lately I’ve started to notice that more and more things aren’t as good as they used to be. (Whoa – I’m suddenly sensing the presence of Andy Rooney. Creepy.) And while it goes without saying that as a blogger I’m totally entitled – nay, expected – to make sweeping judgment calls about the suckage of various things based more or less entirely on my own gut feelings, personally I find that shtick a little boring and lame and I generally try to avoid it. But that doesn’t stop me from taking the occasional quick stroll through the Used To Be Good But Now Basically Sucks Hall of Fame and noting such former greats as ‘Mtv’, ‘the Twin Cities transit system’, ‘cassette tapes’, and ‘powerbuilder’. And as I bask in their former glory, it’s easy enough to convince myself that it’d be fun to try and forecast a couple of potential future nominees. Lucky you.
[For what it's worth I'm keeping these things local, mostly because they're the last few things I made mental notes of and they all just happened to be local. I guess now you know I haven't been out of town for a while.]
- City Pages – Maybe it’s just me and my old age and my slowly fading semblance of hipness, but over the last year or so I’ve started to grow tired of City Pages. Yes, Mr. Perry, we get that you hate Bush and you love the Valerie Flame story. And yes, Ms. Hawkins, we get that you’re the only good mother in the history of parenting. And yes, we get that the rest of you think there’s nothing to be happy about because everything sucks but somehow you’re still awesome in spite of it all. It’s just so played out and predictable and gross. To be sure, there are still reasons for reading (Britt Robson’s hands-down-best-in-town Wolves coverage, for one) but those reasons are becoming harder and harder to find. [www]
- Winter – I’m no climate scientist – much to my geology degree’s dismay – but the last bunch of winters have been a real let down and I’m starting to wonder if we’ll ever see a good one again. Sure, we had some snow over the last few years, but it’s never deep enough to be legit and from just a temperature perspective the last SUPER cold winter I can think of was maybe like ’95 or ’96, so we’re frickin’ due already. I miss you winter.
- Turtle Bread Company – I don’t know about the other locations, but the one in Linden Hills *easily* makes this list. A former favorite place of mine, over the last couple of years their prices have gone up almost as much as their quality has gone down. I still pick up bread there occasionally, but I don’t like myself in the morning for doing so, and from the casual conversations I’ve had with a couple of other customers I’m not the only one. Too big, too fast, too bad. [www]
- Drive105 – I probably wasn’t alone in hoping that when the MPR fired up The Current last spring that AlternaDisney radio would respond by retooling their playlist in an attempt to catch the wave of newly discovered Twin Cities radio worship. But alas, it never happened. Same old stupid Cure “Friday I’m in Love” song, same old stupid Soul Asylum “Black Gold” song, same old stupid Sublime “Santeria” song, and I swear to god if they play “Tempted” by Squeeze one more time I will literally weep for the pain they’re inflicting on all of humanity. (Why won’t they stop?) At least their DJ’s aren’t bad. And to be fair, Homegrown earns them some kudos. So they’ve got that going for them. [www]
I’m sure I could come up with more, but that’s enough for now. And to be clear, I want to point out that I haven’t entirely given up on any of the things list above. I’m just saying they’re not as good as they used to be and that – if they don’t turn things around – they may well end up in the Hall of Fame. I’ve already got a place picked out for them. Right over there on the end, next to ‘St. Cloud State Hockey’. Oh yes I did.
