Monthly Archives: June 2008

Wow. Seriously. The weather, the crowds, the races, it was all absurd. I’m going to inline the pictures. They’re all clickablebigger if that’s your thing. Let’s begin.
We took the back way into Stillwater per the recommendation of a couple of Stillwater colleagues. I thought it would be all sneaky and stuff, but as you’re driving east on 36 there’s a huge sign that says “Back Way Into Stillwater” or something, so it’s not as sneakygenius as I had hoped it would be. Either way it worked mint. Rolled right in, parked, unloaded and walked all of 4 blocks to the heart of the race. We took up positions in the Teddy Bear Park and/or midway up the bonkably awesome Chilkoot Hill. It’s a perfect location, especially if you have kids. Highly recommended.

The Women were already rolling when we got there. I climbed part way up the hill and watched the final 6 laps. Here’s the nutshell: Kristin Armstrong is what we in the business like to call “much better than everyone else”. She rode alone. No team, no chase, no nothing. 77-second margin of victory. She looked casual and calm and so light on the pedals that every time she’d roll by you’d think “huh, this hill must not be as as bad as it looks” and then the peleton would thunder thru and gears would clash and riders would groan and faces would strain and it was clear that this hill was sinister like an Amsterdam park after dark. But Kristin made it look easy. And now she’s off to China and she’s a favorite to win gold and it was really fun to see her up close.
Break for lunch. PB&J. Nice. Nectarine. Not as good as a peach, but not bad. Kids back to the playing, dad back to the hill. They joined me later for the end of the race.

Here’s the start and here come the men, raging up the hill. They start them right at the bottom, so even the guys who sprinted for position are immediately forced to downshift and jump out of the saddle. The next hour or so includes a bunch of breakaways and lead changes and it’s got a great pace and intensity. Dudes start bonking after maybe 5 laps. There was a guy in a Grim Reaper costume who would chase them up the hill when they showed weakness. Everyone else would cheer for the rider, but it was usually just a matter of time. You may not fear the Reaper, but he’s a remarkably good indication that you’re trips up the hill are numbered. This reminds me: lots of people with cowbells on the climb, too. Did I say it was a great scene? I did.

The Healthnet team was on point all day and dictated the pace as they rode in protection of the yellow. They were quite a sight. Fast and disciplined and extremely well managed. A black menace, cranking and growling and barking orders each time they’d start the climb, they owned the pursuit and reeled in pretty much everyone who tried to make a move, including a pair in an early break that worked together to maintain the gap. No luck. Healthnet would just throw their guys in, blow them up, whatever it took.
Then came the last lap.

You can see the gap in the picture above. You can also see the last of Healthnet at the tip, with the yellow right behind. What happened next was ridiculous and enveloping. The fans are screaming, the riders squinting and looking anxious and desperate, searching for the finish line at the top of the hill and at the gap that needed to be closed. Suddenly everyone is in slow motion. Except Rory Sutherland in the yellow, who blew by on the outside. Man among boys. Pefectly executed. Perfectly timed. Genius. But yeah, he came in second. By a length. It was still impressive, though. Rocking everyone’s world. Very nice.
Down the hill we go. To return again next year.
Results – Men
Results – Women

About 3 months ago I decided I was going to have a fake mid-life crisis this summer. Tattoos, motorcycles, girls, the whole shootin’ match. It’s gonna be great. Ok, really it was mostly about a motorcycle. The rest was just a carefully orchestrated distraction designed to draw attention away from the motorcycle. And I’m happy to report that so far it’s working beautifully. How beautifully? Let’s just say that I spent the last two days turning slow figure-8′s in a parking lot in Eden Prairie to earn my motorcycle endorsement and as of now Libby is mostly freaking out about the possibility of a tattoo. Genius!
The endorsement process is a 3 part class. First comes a 4+ hour classroom session. I went last Wednesday. You watch a DVD and break into small groups and hammer thru this giant workbook with like a bajillion questions. It’s brutal, especially if you spent the prior two nights cramming for the [written] State of Minnesota motorcycle permit test, which most everyone in the class had done. I’m only 40% joking when I say the highlight of the night was the turkey on rye sandwich I picked up at the Kwik Trip on the way from work to class. Seriously, it wasn’t a bad sandwich.
The following Saturday and Sunday were two 5+ hour parking lot training sessions. They provide the bikes, you provide long sleeves, a helmet, eye protection, long pants, and boots that cover your ankles. There were 10 of us in my class and everyone was a complete novice except for 2 guys who had maybe kinda ridden before. I’d say on par we were all very much beginners.
The class goes really slowly at first. We spent an hour putting on our gear, picking out our bikes, getting on the bike, starting the bike, stopping the bike, shifting with the bike off, simulated braking, etc, etc. Literally an hour plus before we rolled more than 3 feet. And it totally flew by, btw. As did both days, really. Highlight of this phase was when one of the ladies in the class put her helmet on backwards. The greatest rookie icebreaker in history. Nobody else had to worry about looking silly after that. So great.
The rest of Day 1 was learning the clutch and picking up your feet and stopping and starting and turning slowly and then cornering and all that beginner stuff. It progressed quickly, but for the most part everyone was keeping up. And the teachers (pictured above) were so great and patient and the sun was out and it was a really good time. The only real issue was that we took so many breaks I somehow managed to chug my entire thermos of coffee in like 2 hours and I was crazy jittery from like 10-noon. Whoops!
It rained overnight, so day 2 started out on wet pavement. Class picked up right where we left off. I picked up by stalling my bike on my first roll-out. Breaking news: still a novice. Eventually we got into swerving and traffic and harder breaking skills and this crazy counter balance figure-8 in a box drill that I actually ended up mastering even though I have no idea when I’ll ever run into that situation. Unless I join the Shriners, I suppose. Hey, it could happen.
Eventually you take the ‘endorsement test’ and – assuming you pass, which everyone did, even the super nice girl who killed her bike like 9 times during the test (!!) – you get your permit stamped and then you’re legal to ride at night (won’t) and ride on the interstates (won’t) and carry a passenger (now accepting applications).
Overall the whole experience was actually a lot better than I expected it to be. Not the classroom part – it was lame and slow and redundant – but the parking lot stuff was really well done. Should that have been a surprise? Probably not, but it was.
Onward to bike shopping. Tally-ho.