Remember when Holyland stuff started showing up in the end cap coolers at Lund’s? I do. It was a few months back and when I saw it I said “uh oh” because that could only mean changes were afoot at Holyland Brands. They were making inroads. They were busting down doors. Establishing a footprint, whatever, the point is that they were growing and growing means change and change means change and if there’s one thing I don’t want changed it’s basically anything about Holyland. Ok, not anything, but rather than argue it, howsabout you pick us up a 4+ person Sheiks dinner (feeds 12) and bring it over and we’ll sit on my patio and throw back a few beers and eat a bunch of those grape leaf things and make ourselves the biggest craziest gyroallafel you’ve ever seen and just generally live like ACTUAL SHEIKS probably did while we debate what tiny nitpicky nuance of the whole Holyland thing we’d actually like to see change. Or we could just sit back and listen to some tunes and breakdown whatever else comes to mind* it doesn’t matter it’s mostly about the huge plate of food, right? Right. See you soon.
Anyway, fast forward a few months and here’s me over at the co-op browsing for some dinner options on a Sunday evening and I’m walking by the cooler and wait what’s this?? New crazy packaging on Holyland stuff? Cardboard and graphics and SEE I TOLD YOU CHANGE WAS BAD SERIOUSLY WTF IS GOING ON HERE?? Ugh. And I pick up the containers and I’m shaking my head and then I notice the little sign hanging below the stuff and I start reading. Here’s a zoom in, in case you can’t read it.
And in case you still can’t read it, it’s mostly talking about how all this fancy 38% recycled cardboard is necessary “for them to compete”. And that it’s printed using soy ink. So I guess you can eat the cardboard if you want to. I bet it’s actually not too bad if you dip it in awesome Holyland hummus.
But now here’s the part where I say no offense to cardboard-hating co-op crowd who threw a fit at the sight of a bit more flair on their tubs of hummus, but seriously, if Shawn the refrigerated grocery buyer is going to post a FAQ on hummus changes, where’s the answer to the bigger question: WHY DID THE TUBS GET SMALLER? THAT’S RIGHT, RUBES, YOUR 8oz TUB IS NOW 7, AND YOUR 16oz MONSTER TUB IS NOW TWO 7oz TUBS PACKAGED TOGETHER IN ATTRACTIVE NEW CARDBOARD PACKAGING. AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PRICE? HINT: IT DID NOT GO DOWN. DAMMIT.
So here’s the recipe I use when I make hummus at home. You should, too. It’s super easy and it’s really reliable. I base it on the Cooks Illustrated technique of making an emulsion. Super smooth and fluffy that way, yo.
Doodlehummus
1 can of chickpeas
A clove or two of garlic thru the press
6 Tablespoons well stirred tahini
A couple tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
water – about 1/4 cup
lemon juice
salt
tiny bit of cumin
- Mix the tahini and oil together in a bowl. Mix it a lot, you’re making an emulsion.
- Squeeze some lemon juice into the water. Probably a couple tablespoons.
- Put everything else (beans, garlic, salt, cumin, water) in the food processor and start it running for just a bit. Like 10 seconds, maybe.
- Open it up, scrape it down, close it up, start it up, then add the lemon juice while it’s running. Let it run for a bit, another 30 seconds or so.
- Now slowly add the oil/tahini mixture while it’s running.
- Stuff your face
I still love you, Holyland, but that type of shenanigans is just silly.