doodledee

West Nile Virus has been found in the metro area! Hide the womenfolk and childrenfolk, board up your homes, bring the pets indoors, and start using Pert Plus with Deet for shampoo. Ok, I guess it's only two cases, but one of the guys who caught it most likely got it while working at the PGA tournament. In case you forgot, I spent 3 big days at the tournament myself. It's simply awesome to think that I may have used the same biff as some dude who now has a headache because a mosquito bit him on the leg. (How all that works, I'll never understand. Is your leg even connected to your head?) Or even worse, he may have touched one of my $4 hot dogs! There really should be 'special areas' for people who get bit by mosquitoes so the rest of us don't have to deal with them.

In all seriousness, while I have sympathy for the people who have been infected with the virus, I really don't understand the media frenzy. We're talking about two cases of a [in all but extreme cases] non-lethal virus. Compare that to, say, the fact that a person dies in an alcohol related traffic accident every 39 hours. Not that I'm asking the media to cover the traffic deaths more, just maybe take the 'Deadly Mosquito Rampage 2002 - The Inside Story Tonight at 10' type coverage down a notch.

That said, be smart. Put on some bug-spray.

hb grossie

It's been a lot less hectic at work recently. I think we caught-up and ran over the PM out here, so now some of us have idle time. So what do a bunch of geeks talk about when there's no code to sling? Well, after a good shouting match about the merits of McCain-Feingold, we turned to talking about paper airplanes.

Having the web at our fingertips, we naturally turned to the online community for some paper airplane tips. Much to my surprise, I discovered that there is a whole nerd subculture devoted to paper airplane construction and flying. There are web pages, books, articles, videos.and more. I suppose it's a lot healthier than other stuff that goes on in cyberspace, but it still seems borderline kooky. In any event, it was helpful today, as it taught us how to build a pretty wicked plane.

There is a Guinness World Record for the longest flight time. The record was broken recently, and even CNN covered it.

Summer is winding down and it dawns on me that we haven't been to the grocery store for a 'big trip' since probably sometime last May. Our refrigerator is basically empty. Ok, not totally empty, I think we have eggs, hoisin sauce, beer, and maybe some dijonaise. Obviously, we haven't stopped eating; we've just been finding sustenance in different ways. I've been making trips to Cub over lunch and buying food and just keeping it at work for lunches. We also eat out a lot, which isn't all that good for the wallet, but it is good for the soul, so for now I'll call it a wash. When we are home, we eat simply, and we make a lot of quick runs to the corner market. Occasionally we'll get down to the farmer's market and pick up a bunch of fresh stuff and make up a big meal, but those trips are [regrettably] few and far between.

I miss cooking. I think I'll make pickles this weekend.

Libby is participating in a contest at work where everyone brings in a bad-hair picture and people vote on who had the worst hair. She spent part of this evening digging through old pictures trying to find one that was bad enough to qualify. While we had some difficulty finding one of her, there were more than enough classic shots of me from my stupid hair days. Needless to say, those folks at Target should count their blessings that I don't work there. If I did, it would be game over, because some of the haircuts I've had over the years are just inexcusable.

I think I'm gonna take it easy this week. Just kinda slide into the 3-day weekend.

Today we spent a huge afternoon at the State Fair. As I think I've written about before, I really love the fair. It's great to see so many people out having a good time, especially on a day as beautiful as today was. It's a simple day, where you look at the canned and baked goods, you watch the parade - which for some reason always includes a dancing pickle - you do a little shopping, and of course, you eat yourself sick. And when I say eat, I mean veggie fries, pronto pups, cheese curds, beef sticks, lemonade, turkey drumsticks, tubes of honey, mini doughnuts, macaroni and cheese on a stick, deep fried candybars on a stick, milkshakes, root beer, and enormous cups of fresh cut fries. And if you're lucky, you can mooch a few free cookies off the people who carry huge tubs of them around. It's so ridiculous that by the end of the day a bunch of shaved ice with flavored syrup poured on it sounds 'light and refreshing'. And the craziest part is that it actually kind of is.

We saw the big Cirque d'Soliel last night. It's 2+ hours of androgynous white faced performers flying around or tying themselves into knots or acting like clowns. The show also has this kind of ethereally trippy feel to it, which weirds you out enough to really get lost in the performance. It's like the greatest NBA halftime show you've ever seen - only way better, and way longer - and all the performers are Eurotrash Deadheads who like to 'live the lifestyle'.

As for the performance itself, I really dug the aerial stuff, especially this one sequence where they used huge trampolines to do some pretty mint flips. There was also a big trapeze sequence that looked impossibly difficult and was cool to watch from below. Personally, I don't really go for the hoop-spinning pretzel girls, but there were plenty of them to go around. All in all, a great show.

One interesting thing I learned was that Cirque d'Soliel is actually from Canada. I always thought it was from some place in Europe, most likely France. Once I learned it was Canadian, I was hoping for some sweet Canadian cameos, but there weren't any. All I wanted was for Alex Trebek to come out and eat some fire; is that too much to ask?

I know my comments have been absent for a while, but I feel I have to chime in for all of us shotgun-calling ladies out there. As my parents would attest, my two sisters and I were rabid about shotgun status! I'd also like to add one more exception to the Official Rules: when both parents are involved, they both rightfully claim automatic shotgun status over their children.

I've reached the stage in life where people use the word 'yuppie' as an insult. I don't really get it. Part of the reason may be because I'm not really sure what a yuppie is. I know it was a term coined in the 80's that attempted to classify (read: stereotype) people who were young and upwardly mobile professional types. I think they all drove BMWs, worked on Wall Street, and only cared about themselves or something. There may have also been something about recreational cocaine use, but I'm not sure that's relevant. Either way, I don't really know anybody like that, but for some reason, it's the insult d'jour around here.

Now I can understand that people who don't give back to the community, treat people badly, think less of others, or live beyond their means all in the name of impressing others or feeling better about themselves are doofs. But why does it matter if you drink fancy coffee for breakfast or drive a certain type of car? It doesn't to me, I know that much. I know plenty of great people who drive Mercedes' and plenty of jerks who drive clunkers. Doofs are doofs, period.

If a latte makes you happy, by all means, go get one. Or better yet, buy me one.

Having argued of the rules of calling 'shotgun' for years, I was thrilled to find The Official Shotgun Rules online. At long last, of man's most disputed topics will be carved in stone. And note that when I say 'man', I mean man, not mankind. For some reason, I don't see a lot of you ladies arguing the merits of somebody's shotgun call. I do, however, see guys bitching about a bad call for days after the fact.

My favorite rule was The Balk:

This rule is applied when you have called Shotgun and are waiting for the doors to be unlocked. If you lift the handle while the doors are being unlocked and therefore cause the Shotgun door to remain locked, then you are 'voided' for that ride. At this time Shotgun is available for all of the other passengers to call.

What a great 3-day weekend of big-time golf. Each day was a little different, so I'll take them each in turn.

Friday, Jeannine and I got to the course nice and early so we could breakfast with Keith and some of the crew in their exclusive breakfast tent. After hooking-up with some eggs, we hit the course and watched round 2 saunter by. The weather was sublime, with light winds and cool, clear skies. Lighter crowds, a newspaper, and some quality people watching made the whole day whiz by. For about 2 hours, we sat right on the ropes of #4, just off pin-side of the green next to a bunker. It was really neat to watch people hit out.

Saturday, Libby took my ticket for the morning. Weather had suspended play the night before, so the plan was to sit at #18 and watch people finish their second rounds early that morning. Unfortunately, over three inches of rain had fallen the night before, so the course was flooded and play was delayed. A massive effort removed 60,000 gallons of water from the course before the 9:15 shotgun got the field underway. Libby was able to watch the entire field finish up, including Tiger hitting what he called one of the best shots of his career out a fairway bunker on 18.

Later on Saturday, I joined-up with Keith and Jeannine and we settled in on #14 and watched the rest of the pack come through. We were stuck behind some jackasses who stood the whole time, but I guess the half-full person in me would point out that they at least blocked some of the 30+ mph winds. All in all, another great day.

Sunday was the big day. Keith had secured 4 tickets, which meant that 7 of us would be out on the course. We borrowed a minivan from a coworker, loaded everyone up and got to the course well before the gates opened to the general public. After scouting the best locations to sit, we settled on hole #17, right on the ropes. The day started slowly, but we took turns walking around the course to help pass the time. It was all worth it in the end, though, as it was an electric atmosphere down the stretch. Huge crowds, huge cheers, huge fun.

Summary

Highlights
• Watching second shots on #6 on a beautiful Friday morning
  
• Fist-pumping with Tiger on #17 as he drained his third straight birdie in an attempt to catch an uncatchable Rich Beem
  
• Doing summersaults on #7 fairway
  

Lowlights
• $4 hot dogs - with no onions?!
• Not making the cut

Mad props to the Conway's for all they did to make the weekend a success. We'll see y'all in 2009.

I thought this article about MIT whiz kids counting cards and ripping off Vegas was really neat. The operation was so elaborate and sophisticated. I wonder why my buddies and I never do anything like that? When we all went to Vegas a year or so ago, I got my ass kicked by the casinos. (Well, I guess it wasn't really an ass kicking, but I lost my $40 pretty fast.) After we ran out of money, we pretty much just walked up and down the strip for a few days looking at all the fancy buildings. Then we flew home. Turns out that all we needed to do was to spend a few hundred hours practicing our card counting techniques before we went and we could have made a mint. We're such dorks.

And in today's installment of Wacky DJ Stunts Gone Bad: yesterday, some moron from KDWB tried to sneak a chainsaw into Hazeltine during the PGA tournament. I think it was supposed to be a joke showing how bad security was at the course or something. What a riot! Those radio folks are geniuses! I'm not sure if the dude was laughing after he was arrested and thrown in jail by the police and FBI, but I sure was. Whoa, dude, that's funny stuff! Everybody loves a good chainsaw joke, right? Wee! Doof.

Team Yep suffered another early playoff exit last night. Oh, for the victorious days of yesteryear.

Douche douche, double douche. I'm not sure what a hotel in NYC on NYE costs, but I think I may find out.

Yesterday, Vice President Cheney came to town to stump for Republican gubernatorial candidate Tim Pawlenty. A lot of people, myself included, believe the $500/plate luncheon -- which raised $250,000 -- was a thank-you gift to Pawlenty for withdrawing from the US Senate race last summer. At the time, the Whitehouse supported Norm Coleman in the Senate race, but Pawlenty was still planning on running because local Republican Brian Sullivan had already built a lot of momentum in the gubernatorial race. On literally the morning of Pawlenty's Senate campaign announcement, Cheney called him and asked him not to run against Norm. Pawlenty immediately backed-out.

What I don't understand is why this is such a big deal to people. Yesterday in the media, the local DFL was highly critical of the visit. They called it "part of an elaborate payoff to Pawlenty". Well, duh! It's obviously a payback. Me confused. Me not understand your point.

In reality, the creepiest angle you could take is to play-up how/why Washington is so interested in a gubernatorial race in po'dunk Minnesota. I personally don't get it. Plenty of recent Presidents have been ex-Governors, but I don't see Pawlenty as Presidential material. Maybe they forgot we elected Jesse? Maybe they're hoping to save the Twins? Maybe Cheney has a secret crush on Carol Molnau? Hmmm.

Here's another one of those time wasting games. I only could make it to level 6. Hope you all do better than that.

The PGA Championship starts today. Last Friday, I went out to the course and took about 125 pictures. The course looks great; it was really neat to walk around on it before the big show starts. (For comparison, here's a picture of my cube at my current client. Not quite as cool, eh?) While walking through the course, I gained a real appreciation for the work that has been going on for literally years in preparation for the event. Starting tomorrow, 40,000 people a day will be crawling over that place like ants. I'll be there on Sunday. Here's hoping for good weather, good golf, and good times.

On a non-golf note, my dad is doing much better. He's back home and has most of his memory back. He still tells the same stories over and over, which probably confuses the doctors, but it's pretty normal to me. There's a chance he'll need surgery on his broken arm/shoulder, but that's a lot better than brain problems.

My dad fell off his bike yesterday. Nobody is really sure what happened, because he hit his head and doesn't remember anything, but most likely he just wiped-out pretty bad and took a mean tumble. (Yes, he was wearing a helmet.) Luckily, a lady saw him stumbling around and took him to the emergency room. That was nice of her.

Now, he's admitted to the hospital with a broken arm/shoulder deal and [obviously] some head trauma. Last night, I had the impression it was really serious, but I talked to him this morning on the phone and he was much more alert and aware than I expected him to be. Watching TV and even eating. Good news all around.

I remember when I wiped-out on my mountain bike while speeding through a gulley one time. I broke a handlebar and a bunch of other crap on my bike, but I walked away with just some cuts and bruises. I can't imagine how hard you have to fall to break an arm and give yourself a concussion through a helmet. Ouch!

7 years

As part of the media hype leading up to the 2002 PGA Championship here at Hazeltine, local sports reporter Jeff Grayson will be interviewing Keith Conway and his goose chasing dog Eddie tonight on Channel 9. Don't miss it.

Elvis has a greatest hits album coming out this fall. I guess 2002 is some milestone anniversary of his death or something. It turns out that most Elvis fans are getting really old. It also turns out that kids these days aren't all that interested in The King. As a result, sales of Elvis records and sequined jumpsuits are at all time lows -- not to mention a big fall-off in Graceland tours.

How refreshing for a drop in record sales not to be blamed on internet music downloading.

Personally, I predict the Elvis collection will be a huge seller. I also predict that for about 20 minutes this winter, it'll be trendy to be an Elvis fan.

I'll admit that I'm a little worried about a sudden trendiness of Elvis. Viva Las Vegas is one of my all time favorite sing-along songs, and I'm sure as hell not trendy. Or maybe I am and I had no idea? Kick ass!

In Junior High School, one of the history teachers was a huge Elvis fan. Some days, if you had him for study hall, he would show Elvis movies -- like Viva Las Vegas -- in his classroom. Other days, he would make everybody in the class cut giant sideburns out of black construction paper and tape them to their face. A lot of kids thought it was lame, but I thought it was mint.

Being in Wisconsin over the weekend, I saw both of Wisconsin's traditional sights: cheese shops and firework shops. I almost stopped and bought some fireworks at one of the stands we passed on the interstate, but I didn't want to lose any Carl time. Then I almost stopped and bought something at a 'cheese shoppe', but you can get pretty good Wisconsin cheese at the farmer's market in Minneapolis. I want to be clear, however, that if I had seen a place that sold both cheese and fireworks, I would have pulled over in a heartbeat.

I've never understood why Wisconsin, the state that's a mere 45 minutes from Minnesota's capital, is so much more socially liberal than we are. Bars are open later, you can buy booze on Sunday, and you can buy and detonate any firework of your choosing. (Note: Combining all those liberties into one giant Funapalooza may be hazardous to your health.) Is it the water? Is it the cheese? Does it have something to do with their governor, Tommy Bartlett?

But fireworks aren't safe, right? Yes and no. On one hand, KC lit-off all of three fireworks this year and still managed singe his hand up pretty good. But on the other, you are actually more likely to be killed by cataclysmic earth surface movements and eruptions than by fireworks. Looks like it's time for somebody in the legislature to step-it up and stop plate tectonics. In the meantime, next time you're in Wisconsin, pick me up some curds and a brick of black cats.

The new pool table has arrived at the Conway Clubhouse. Man, I wish I had a basement that was cool. All we have is a stupid 90-year-old furnace and a freezer. Anybody wanna come over and play with the freezer?

Didn't think so.

Terrapin Station was a great time. Everybody I saw was behaving themselves and just having fun. I don't see how anybody can claim otherwise. Grossie and I both have zero regrets on making the drive.

The Good

First and foremost, day's biggest highlight was clearly the music. The Phil and Friends set that opened the show was a perfect welcome. Phil's playing was tight and his singing was stronger than ever. As a bonus, nobody went too crazy/spacey right out of the gates, so the crowd stayed with it the whole time. Mickey's set in the afternoon was solidly enjoyed even though we didn't actively listen. The Other One's sets, running from 8 to midnight, were everything I had been hoping for and more. He's Gone tease to open, a huge Dark Star devouring the back half of the second set, and a Help > Slipknot > Franklin's encore?! This is not the last-tried-in-1991 Grateful Dead, they were pushing hard all night. Yee-haw!

Also worth a positive mention: the outstanding weather and the lemonade, which was delicious, if not a little pricey.

The Bad

Phil and Mickey sing too much. Morning Dew was and is a Jerry song -- retire it.

Food lines were way too long. There were 500 places to get a beer, but only a small handful to get something to eat. Stories of people waiting over an hour for a burger were common. We had much better luck, but some lines were unavoidable. Also, it took us 3+ hours to get out of the lot after the show. Ouch.

The Summary

Great tunes, great vibe, great energy, crazy setlists, freaks wherever you looked. Turn it up and dance like nobody is watching.

Big thanks to Carl for the floor space.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to Alpine I go. I predict big fun and big crowds. And a Shakedown Street opener.

Full report upon return.

For the last few weeks, some of the major freeways have had these crazy Ugly Kids billboards on them. I talked with a couple people and nobody knew what they were for. It turns out that they were just attention grabbers courtesy of Clear Channel Corporation. The kids on the billboard are DJs on one of the Wacky Morning Shows here in Minneapolis. I'm so pissed that I was such a tool.

In other, more humorous, music news: Jaguaro released a list of 100 Albums You Should Remove from Your Collection Immediately. I laughed a lot as I read through it. As they coincidently point out in the introduction, I was indeed shocked to see anything by the Beatles on the list. Beyond that, right out of the gate I was sad to see Tim at #6, but man, they nailed Zen Arcade (#85), and #83 may have finally shown me the light. I can't wait for the promised 100 Albums to Add list.