doodledee

Big extremes in customer service over the last few days. Most of it, unfortunately, of the crappy variety.

It started last Saturday afternoon when we headed out to test drive a couple 'family cars' that somehow managed to squeak into Libby's 'maybe' column. The whole experience was a joke. At the first place, Lupient Pontiac, we checked out a Pontiac Vibe ("Pontiacs rule!" - Gerry). The sales guy who helped us knew nothing about the car. Literally. He tried to fool us by talking about what color it was and pointing at the sticker and reading stuff off of it out loud, but I wasn't going for it. When he brought one around for us to test drive, he got out and announced, "We can't go very far, it's almost out of gas." I had to laugh out loud. Uberdoof.

It didn't get any better at the next dealer, either. We experienced the same dumb looks - still free! - and startlingly doof-like behavior. Who are these people? Don't they work on commission? They must, because they never forget to give you their card and remind you to call if you have any questions. Yeah, I'll be sure to call if I need you to EXPLAIN WHAT 'RED' LOOKS LIKE.

But wait, it gets better.

The air conditioner we normally use in our bedroom decided start only blowing hot air this year. After some investigation, I figured out it was more cost effective to just go buy a new one than try and get the broken one fixed. So on Monday, I headed over to Sears at the Eden Prairie mall to pick one up. Yuck.

After finding my way to the AC department, I looked around for like 10 minutes and settled on the super cheap one. Concerned that it was a piece of junk, I went over to the checkout stand and started talking to one of the Sears ladies about their return policy. That's when supersalesdoof guy showed up and took over. (Here's hoping she wasn't working on commission.)

Not knowing the dude was a doof, I asked him what he thought of the $88 unit.

"Well, it's a loss leader," he says.

"Yeah, I figured. So is it a piece of junk?"

"It's a loss leader."

"Yeah, you said that..." [doof alarm starting to sound]

Concerned about the potential extra electrical expense of running a budget AC, I asked about the power consumption.

"How many watts does it use?"

"Watts don't matter, only BTUs make a difference."

"No, I'm talking about power consumption, not cooling ability." [doof alarm in full effect]

"I know," he says [knowingly], "that's not watts, that's BTUs."

It became obvious that he didn't really know, he was just straight-up lying. And nothing makes me madder than that. Just give me the cheapie AC and get the hell out of my way, doof. I have no time for lying liars and the lies they tell.

Whew.

But it's not all bad. This morning I had an appointment with a plumber to come over and talk about redoing a couple of pipes in our house. [WaterPressure.suck()] He showed up on time, worked efficiently, had great attention to detail, and - most importantly - he clearly knew his stuff. 30 minutes later I was fighting the urge to hire the guy without even getting another bid. He single-handedly restored my faith in quality customer service.

Those other doofs owe this dude. Big time.