doodledee

Libby and I spent the last 2 days attending an All Weekend Baby Boot Camp Spectacular that the hospital we're delivering at puts on. It was long and I had to behave the whole time, but I felt like I got some good information out of it.

The class had like 20 couples in it, so it ended up with a pretty good variety of people. It had your basic 'I'm totally freaking out' people, your 'whatever' people, your 'all I wanna know is how many meds I'm gonna get and when I'm gonna get them' people, your 'I have an agenda to push' people, and so on and so forth. There were a ton of questions that started: "A friend of mine told me that [insert crazy ass story here]." That was fun. There was also this one dude who - after spending 20 minutes going over it in excruciating detail - still didn't understand what an epidural was. (Note to self: sign up for bozo-free class next time.)

The class included quite a bit of yoga derived breathing stuff. I thought it was neat, but a lot of the people rolled their eyes and refused to play along. (Those would be the 'whatever' people. Whatever.) I did think it was odd that the instructors never actually referred to it as 'yoga' per se, instead calling it 'relaxation breathing' or something. I assume this is because calling it 'yoga' might excite some people who aren't really comfortable with whacked out alternative therapies. Their loss, I guess.

At the end of the class, an egomaniac pediatrician came in and talked to the class. She started off by bitching about how we were having class on a weekend. (Sorry to take up 45 minutes of your time on a Sunday, ma'am, I hope you found a shady spot for your 740.) On the good side, she was Straight Talk Express to the core, which I can appreciate. No tiptoeing, no tulips.

In conclusion, my favorite part was the free cookies, but I also liked it when the old lady teacher went on about how dudes are embarrassed to buy feminine hygiene products for their wives. It was like she was doing a bit or something. Watch out, Seinfeld.