doodledee

I don't get why Dairy Queen - who serves some of the messiest food around - insists on only giving out those stupid little napkins. They should have big ass paper towels or something. Seriously. You ever try driving while eating a chocolate dip cone? It's insanity. By the time you're finished you end up holding like 10 little wadded up disgusting balls of sticky napkin. Eww.

The DQ website has a FAQ, but go figure, the FAQ writers are too busy explaining how - through the magic of animatronic chickens - no 'real' chickens were hurt while filming the newest 'chicken strip' commercial to properly document why the ice cream loving public is forced to wipe its collective lips with a napkin the size of a playing card. STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR ROBOT CHICKENS AND ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Needless to say, I've harnessed the power of the interweb and taken my campaign for bigger DQ napkins right to home of the beast: Consumer Relations has been notified.

Standby for response.