doodledee

The building I work in downtown is big and has a bunch of other businesses in it. One of them is a modeling agency. Their suite is on the main floor and is tastefully lit and heavily trimmed with cherry toned wood. Dozens of black and white headshots hang on the walls behind the receptionist, presumably current and former clients and not just teaser shots of "model quality" faces lacking any true relation to the agency. I guess I can't be sure what really goes on in there, as I've only ever gawked in through the glass doors, but it sure looks professional.

Every once in a while you'll see a couple kids - usually girls - coming or going from the place, but it's never very busy. The craziest it ever got was the time they held a fake fashion show one evening. It was just like Milan or Paris only instead of celebrities and journalists, the audience was full of moms and dads. Surreal, no?

The modeling agency is the target of many jokes at the office. The running one swings around the theory that every parent thinks their kid is cute/pretty/hot enough to be a model/actress - which is fine in and of itself - but becomes much funnier when the parents believe it so much that they take their kids in and pay thousands of dollars for reps and classes and teeth whitening and stuff. Well, funny and frequently kind of pathetic, I guess.

Today the Strib ran a feature that provided tons more ammunition. Great stuff.

To date, [mom] has spent $20,000 on [her daughter's] dream of becoming an actress.

Her expenses include $8,000 for a lifetime membership to John Robert Powers for classes and access to auditions with visiting casting directors, and $12,000 for a trip to New York City to attend a modeling convention.

Twenty thousand bucks for the chance to maybe, just maybe, appear in some local newspaper or television ad!? (The Twin Cities are a small market, and you're not going from Richfield to Revlon overnight, baby.) You can get a late model Saab with a trunk full of Swiss Cake Rolls for cheaper than that. And seriously, who wouldn't want that?

Although she said she wouldn't invest that kind of money again, [mom] says her 16-year-old daughter has benefited from the auditions and from some of her acting classes. "The problem is it's an industry where people are milking you for your dreams," she said. "It's so easy to go in and spend a lot of money because you think this will make my child famous."

How's that again? Is it your dream or her dream? Hence the theory, hence the easy target, hence the running joke, hence I just used hence 3 times in a single sentance and that is totally bitchin.

All this nonsense naturally goes out the window once Nick gets his pec implants. Game set match underwear model. You just wait.

Not Always a Pretty Business [strib]
When Did Skivvies Get Rated NC-17? [nyt]