doodledee

• Opening the refrigerator and finding a couple of magnetic alphabet letters on the shelf next to the cheese. Then opening the cupboard and finding a couple of magnetic alphabet letters next to the tupperware. Then opening the drawer and finding a couple of magnetic alphabet letters next to the aluminum foil and the baggies. It's like he's squirreling them away for winter or something.
• People who still refer to all computers as being either 'apple' or 'IBM'. So old school. So best.
• That new show The Office over on NBC. It has single handedly reassured me that television writers are still capable of creating stuff that is genuinely funny and off-beat and non-formulaic. Or maybe they stole the whole idea from the BBC, who knows. It's too bad they only made like six episodes and they've all already been aired. Way to give it time to develop a following, network doofs.
• I've also been getting a few yucks by switching my IM client to fixedsys font and talking like a robot. Am I the only one who finds that amusing? Perhaps.

It snowed a couple of times today. In between the flurries it would get all bright and sunny out. One time it was snowing *and* sunny, so I looked out the window and tried to find a snowbow. I didn't see one. In reality, I'm not even sure that snowbows are real, so maybe I was wasting my time. Either way, it seemed weird to me that it was snowing this late in April, but I'm no weather historian, so who knows, maybe it's totally normal.

Later I went and played softball. It started to rain a little during our game. That usually isn't so bad, but when it's 40 degrees out it's just lame. And I'm not too proud to say I didn't especially care for it.

Did someone say 'cruelest month'?

A month or two ago I finally caved and bought an iPod. I went back and forth about which one to buy about 100 times - including probably 10 "final" decisions in the minutes leading up to the actual purchase - but I ended up pulling the trigger on the 20GB model. I'm still convinced it was the right one. Score one for careful deliberation.

Unlike that stupid Palm Pilot thing I bought back in the 90's, I'm actually getting a ton of use out of the iPod. That said, I have yet to experience the life changing epiphany that so many others have reported after they started carrying a stylish white jukebox in their pocket. I'm not even sure I understand *how* it's supposed to be such a big life changer. Prior to having an iPod, I spent many nights downloading music and burning it to CDs. If I wanted to listen to that music at another time, I would have to haul my clunky CDs around and try and find a "cd player" to play them on. What a bitch. Or not. Now, however, I get to spend my nights downloading music and copying it to my iPod, a process that takes approx 4-times as long as the "old way" but results in a much more portable end product. Fair trade? I vote yes. Life changing? I vote "huh?". What type of lives did these people have before?

And then there's the fact that [out of the box] you can't bring your iPod to work and sync your music library onto your workstation. Guilty until proven innocent, I guess. And totally lame. When copying music between two devices is outlawed, only outlaws will have music on two devices.

Finally, I have to comment on the "iPods are ruining the universe" theory that's all the rage these days. (Less than a week after I clicked 'confirm order', for example, Andrew Sullivan wrote a piece declaring that "society is dead".) Well, I don't see it. I've been walking the skyways and streets of Minneapolis for the last 2 months paying special attention to the people around me and, other than the predictable hipster crowd, I hardly ever even see anyone wearing headphones. And guess what? I also don't see people stopping to have casual conversations with strangers. Mostly I just see people who appear to be thinking "why the hell did they put an Applebee's in Block E?" I know that's what I'm thinking, headphones or no.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a Twins stadium. Well, ok, that's not exactly true, but we do have an agreement between Hennepin County and the Twins to bilk the taxpayers out of enough money to build one. I say ‘bilk' because - obviously - no citizen will be allowed to vote on whether or not they think their taxes should have to go up in order pay for the stadium, but whatever. (Reminder: they tried that whole "ask the voter" thing back in '99 in St. Paul and, well, uhh, it didn't exactly "pass". And by "didn't exactly pass" I mean "pretty much everyone voted against it". Whoops!)

Now I'll be the first to admit that I stopped paying attention to all the threats and rumors and politicking and boo-hoo'ing about the new stadium stuff a long time ago, so maybe I'm out of the loop, but - lack of a referendum aside - this deal doesn't seem to be all that insane. The proposed stadium isn't huge, it doesn't have a stupid retractable roof, it's downtown, and it's next to transit. It's not exactly a fantasy deal, but if you have to have a [partially] taxpayer funded facility, this one seems almost reasonable.

That said, I'm sure the fine print will end up burning us all somehow. Already Pohlad is saying stuff like "I'll give you most of my share of the money 10-minutes before the first pitch is thrown". I'm not good enough at compounding interest to know if that's a big deal or not, but it sure feels squirrelly. And I'm sure there'll be plenty more of that type of nonsense.

But who cares. We almost have closure on the stupid stadium issue and I should be able to see homeplate from my desk. Damn right that gets my vote.

Twins, Hennepin have stadium deal [strib] [includes above image]

• Stroll past booth after booth selling mostly mediocre ethnic food and/or mostly mediocre ethic crafts and/or mostly mediocre ethnic entertainment at the 2005 Festival of Nations going on over in St. Paul. I enjoy it every few years, but I don't think I'm quite due for a recharge just yet. That's probably why I wasn't too upset when I found out that Libby was going without me. But hey, if you do go, bring me some lefse. [Apr21-Apr24]
• Pretend you've always had your finger on the pulse of southern roots folk music with an indie-buzz edge as you wait in line at the The Electric Fetus for Iron and Wine's instore performance (17:30). After the set, grab some cheap eats on Nicollet before you head down to First Avenue for the full show. Resist the urge to talk about Nick Drake. [Apr22]
• Support everyone's favorite hipster independent filmmakers by attending the world premier of Generation Mason at the Uptown Theater on Saturday. The one and only showing is at noon (noon?!), so parking shouldn't be a problem. City Pages called it a film that " clearly a lot of talent and care went into". Then they basically said they were glad it only lasted 90 minutes, but whatever. (Previously mentioned in suggestini [rss]) [Apr23]
• Poker night. Bring it.

There's a story in the Strib today about how much cheating goes on over at the U. It's based on some nationwide survey of college students that - brace yourself - reveals that kids don't think they cheat all that much. And, what's more, they don't think the cheating they admit to is really all that serious, so hey, what's the big deal?

I hate when I start sentences like this, but "back when I went to the U" I dated all the hotties from the dorm saw tons of cheating going down. Especially in the math classes I had, where it wasn't uncommon at all for a group of kids to pull their desks together during a test and just WORK AS A GROUP! And the wussy Chinese TA's wouldn't have the balls to confront them! And it used to drive me insane! And all this rage I'm working up now is totally fake! Because I don't care anymore! Because all that crap is behind me now!

One place I didn't see much cheating was in my honor's classes. (Nerd!) Those classes were extremely collaborative and open and stuff, but at the end of the day they were also extremely cutthroat. It was one those environments where a bunch of us would get together to study and then it would get late and someone would say "I'm gonna go home now" and everyone would leave but then as soon as they got home they'd stay up for another hour or two just so that they'd kick your ass come morning. That stuff rules in a way, but mostly it rules if you'd rather work stupid math problems than play SEGA hockey 14 hours a day. (*cough* hockey *cough*)

I always clung to the notion that cheating would catch up with people. I'm not sure it really does. Ok, ok, yes, it probably does because the people who cheated were probably idiots in the first place, but bear with me, I've got a point to make. See, out here in the real world™ I crutch along on other people's work all the time. When I run into a tough computer problem - like how to photoshop myself into a car at the Daytona 500, for example - I don't lock myself in a room and try to solve it by myself, I fire up the interweb to see if someone else already has the answer. Genius! Did I need to go to college to learn that? Apparently yes.

Seriously, though, all those pictures from when I was in the olympics are totally real.

Do U students cheat? Oh, a little [strib]

Yesterday marked the official public opening of the new and improved Walker Art Center. (That's the local 'modern' art museum for you non-locals.) For as long as I can remember, the Walker has been housed in a large, intimidating brick box adjacent to the sculpture garden, across Hennepin Avenue from Loring Park. A few years back, the Walker acquired an neighboring office building and ripped it down, paving the way for a big ass new addition, which has been under construction ever since.

Well it's finally done. And it looks like a giant cube wrapped in aluminum foil. And I guess that's supposed to be cool. Personally, I think it's pretty dumb. For one, we already have a shiny metal museum over on the campus of the U, so New Metal Cube is in no way 'new', much less 'visionary'. I'd go as far as saying it's derivative, but that makes it seem like I actually thought about it for a while, which I did not. Plus, who knows - maybe the architect genius dude who designed New Metal Cube didn't know that some other architect genius dude was already taking inspiration from a beer can he smashed on his head.

I also think it's dumb because it cost $70 million to build. That's a lot of ching for 10,000 square feet of new gallery space. Is that even a lot of space? It doesn't seem like it. Aren't Huna-esque McMansions running like 4000 sq feet these days? If the Walker only needed 10,000 more square feet, why not save $68.5 million and go buy a couple of houses in Eden Prairie and cram 'em full of art? It'd be perfect: after visiting, patrons could stop off at Panera and get a bagel and talk about how they "didn't get it". Seriously, this is a great idea. I should apply for money to build a fake suburban neighborhood and call it the 'neopop' movement. I'd could build a fence out of Dyson vacuum cleaners and crap like that. I'd just say my work is a comment on our consumption obsessed society and/or every Target commercial from the last 4 years. The money would pour in.

But I digress.

To be clear, I'm not saying the Walker in and of itself is dumb, just that I don't like their new building. After all, the Walker did build the sculpture garden, and that's pretty mint. And they sponsor music and stuff, which is also pretty mint, especially when it's outside and it's sunny and it's Wilco. (That reminds me, what's with all this new 'community gathering place' marketing for the new space? Isn't that what people were promising about Block E, too? Gross.) And also of note is the fact that the Walker raised all the expansion money privately. You can do that?

Also, to be clear again, no, I don't really like the art. With the exception of the fun stuff like the Worhal tomato cans and whatnot, the rest of it is just lost on me. I remember visiting as a kid with my parents. I'd look at some huge canvas which was painted solid blue or something and I'd say "I could have done that" to which my dad would reply "yeah, but you didn't". Which was a good point, but I don't think he liked it any more than I did, so it kind of cheapened his witty reply.

I'm sure we'll get down to the New Cube eventually. And when we do I'm sure there will be a full rebuttal of all critiques expressed herein. Until then, it remains totes stupes.

Walker Art Center [walkerart]
The new Walker/An ice cube with attitude [strib]
the garden was rocked [doodledee]

April is sometimes known as the cruelest month, and most years I'd tend to agree with that assertion. After all, April is traditionally the month that teases us with promises of early season softball games and big tax refunds. But somehow, instead of playing ball and waiting for direct deposits, most years you have to stay home writing checks and praying that it gets warm enough to melt the snow off the infield before next week's game. If that ain't cruel, I don't know what is.

Well, my friends, 2005 has been different. It's been unseasonably warm and gorgeous out and everything is nice and dry and even almost kinda green. And for the first time I can remember in 18 years of playing CSC softball, we actually played our season opener as scheduled. Ho-lee crap. And yes, we won, thanks for asking. And yes, I batted 1.000, thanks for asking. And yes, I had to write big checks to the government anyway, thanks for asking.

In celebration of the first good April in recorded history, I'm trying out some new designations for the month.

• April could be National Vest Month - I'm a big fan of vests. (The jacket kind, not the 3-piece suit kind.) You put on a vest on a cool spring day and your body stays all warm and toasty while your arms are free to wave about and do all kinds of fun stuff. I accidentally left my lightweight spring jacket at my sister's house over easter and it forced me into my vest a few weeks ahead of schedule. I was worried at first, but I gotta admit it's been a real pleasure.
• April could be National Stop Calling Everything 'Artisan' Month - Seriously, what the hell is up with every product in every store having to be labeled as 'artisan'? Bread, cheese, beer, jelly, it's ridiculous. Do you grocery people seriously think we're too stupid to notice that you don't even have *flour* behind the counter in the "bakery", much less a bunch of highly skilled artisan bakers cranking out hand-crafted loafs of delicious, crusty bread? Well we're not. So here's the deal: I'll keep letting you charge me $2.99 for a fake baguette if you stop trying to convince everyone that the par-baked crap you slap a fancy label on is somehow 'artisan'. Shake. Spit. Done.
• April could be Math Awareness Month - Oh wait, it already is. Scratch that one, then.
• April could be TV on Demand Still Sucks Month - We sat down to watch a show off the fake tivo the other night and it turned out that the show we recorded was originally aired during big thunderstorm or something. So we sat there watching, like a week later, having to put up with the giant weather themed CNBC-wannabe screen layout, complete with blinking mini-maps, a scrolling weather ticker, and a bunch of pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one. It was a joke. WHEN is somebody going to figure out content on demand for real? Why can't I just click a button and watch what I want, when I want? It's not for technical reasons, that's for sure. It just seems silly that it's not here yet.

So those are the nominees. (And yes, most of them are just little things I've been meaning to write about but hadn't gotten around to yet, thanks for asking.)

I'd probably go with the vest one this year. And I'll probably be back to 'cruelest' next year. Stupid April.

Our neighbors have one of those house security system things. It's mostly there to keep me out of their beer fridge while they're on vacation, but it also serves to detect break-ins and fires and stuff. This evening while cooking dinner, the babysitter smoked up the kitchen enough to trigger the full house alarm. She unfortunately had no idea how to turn it off, so she picked up the phone and tried frantically to find someone who did. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

When the alarm wasn't reset in time, the alarm company mothership tried calling the homeowner to verify everything was ok. Because the babysitter was on the phone, the mothership couldn't get through. Because the mothership couldn't get through, the local fire and police were notified. Because the local fire and police were notified, my pre-dinner entertainment was much better than average.

I'm the 'neighbor contact' on their alarm system so my phone rang pretty much right away. The mothership dude asked if I had a key to their house to let the fire and police in when they got there. I almost said no - just so I'd get to see some police dude kick down a door - but then I thought back to all the free jalepeno poppers they've given me and decided earn some karma and just let them in. As it turns out, the sitter was in the house and it didn't matter anyway.

When the fire department got there they parked their truck right in front of our house. We went out to look around and one of the paramedic dudes offered to let us climb up inside the truck and look around. He even posed for a picture. It was quite a scene.

Last Sunday's Strib featured an interesting pair education-themed articles. I say "interesting" because after I read the second one I went "huh, that's interesting" and then more or less read them both out loud to Libby. She more or less pretended to listen, said "huh", and then went back to doing her cryptoquip. Ahh, routine.

Since I normally grab my coffee and dive right into the hypefest that is the OpEx section, the first story I read was an editorial feature titled "How'd I'd Fix My High School". The article was a follow-up piece from a request the OpEx editors issued a few weeks back for high school students to write in with their ideas on how to 'fix' their [broken?] high school. I guess like 130 kids submitted something. Is that a lot?

The 130 were culled to 19 for the story. Of those 19, here's a breakdown of what the kids mentioned as 'fixes'. And yes, I'm dumbing them down to fit them into my little category buckets.

• Deal with disinterested / troublemaker kids [6]
• More funding / better spending [4]
• Smaller classes [3]
• Downplay Sports [2]
• Better security [2]
• Other - diversity, grading changes, teaching values (!), etc

[Note that I separated 'funding' from 'class size', but that some kids mentioned it in the same context.]

While I wasn't surprised by the "no money for chalk" comments, I did find it curious that so many kids mentioned the 'rotten apple' issue. (And, to a lesser extent, the sports stuff; as a former b-squad soccer player, that one stung a little bit.) So while the kids recognize that more money would help, many of them seem to think that what [little] money there is is being wasted on doofs who take up all the teacher's time.

Huh.

After flipping thru the comics and the Target ad, I stumbled onto the other story. This one being an above-the-fold feature in the Metro section titled 'Making a Wish'. In it, a reporter went around and asked teachers what they would spend money on if they were given a blank check to improve their classrooms. Presumably the check would bounce if it was too big, but the maximum was never explicitly stated.

Here's what they said:

• A set of drums for the band
• New HVAC for the school
• Additional teachers
• A belt sander
• Subsidize sports fees
• Video cameras
• Laptops
• Graphing calculators

Ok, I think there are more, but that's enough. The laptops and graphing calculator requests are starting to get me worked up.

So on one side you've got kids saying that troublemakers and huge classes are the problem and on the other you've got teachers asking for belt sanders and video cameras. I'm not saying either side is right or wrong, I'm just saying that it's interesting that NONE of the teachers mentioned hiring additional counselors for the 'troubled' kids, and only one mentioned hiring teachers at all. Maybe they're just hoping that the elephant in the room will be able to hide behind the new drums for a while? Or maybe they're just being defensive?

At this point I'm sure it's somehow painfully unfair how I'm interpreting the teacher's responses. (Seriously, I'm sure it is, but that's the fun of having a blog, I get to say all kinds of crazy shit.) I'm also sure that the problem of 'difficult' students and misdirected spending is so big and complex that when a reporter shows up with a fake check and asks what you'll spend it on it's easy to say "uhh, some video cameras?" instead of going on the record as saying some of your kids are a real bitch to deal with. But I still wish they would have. When people see teachers daydreaming about laptops for every student, it might make them wonder how bad things really are. And in some cases I think it's actually pretty bad.

How I'd Fix My High School [strib]
Making a Wish [strib]

• The new Beck album. And yes, I know it's totally cliché for some doof with a blog to talk about how he likes a new Beck album, but I'm saying it anyway because I'm finding it too difficult to pretend I don't like it. I'm also hoping that 'Girl' isn't released as a single and played into the ground to the point where I totally hate it, because that song rules and I want to keep loving it.
• Google Maps. It has instantly become my go-to site for all things needing mapping. I find it reassuring that there are still people doing such neat things with the stupid internet.
• The eensy weensy bit of late-season suspense that the Wolves are generating. I'll be the first to admit I stopped paying attention months ago, but the last couple of weeks have me showing symptoms of having a mild playoff fever. Don't look for me down at the Target Center holding an "I Believe" sign or anything, but if it's an important game I'll probably try and tune in.
• Team Yep Softball 2005 countdown: 5 days. And the extended forecast seems to imply we'll actually be playing.

Last Saturday morning was gorgeous. Bright and sunny and warm enough that you could go outside wearing shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt so long as you were carrying a cup of coffee to help take the edge off. It was one of those early April mornings that triggers a bizarre - yet well documented - reaction in every Minnesotan that causes us to stumble out into the daylight and immediately begin raking our lawns even though we all know it's way too early to be raking and KC even says we can do more damage than good. Well screw him, I wanna rake.

But first I wanna walk down to the liquor store and load up on celebratory champagne for Tough Guy's surprise 30th birthday party later that afternoon. So I packed up the kid and that's just what I did. And then I walked home, loaded down with a stroller full of cheer, pointing out dogs and birds and Porsches along the way and generally having a great old time. I think I may have even been whistling.

And then I had one of those "you never know how you'll react until it happens" moments. Libby screeched up in the Jeep, jumped out, and told me my dad had had a heart attack and was in the hospital.

Huh.

So now it's 6 days and 4 bypasses later and everyone seems to be doing pretty well. He's up walking around and should be home within a few days. It's amazing how fast you can recover from something as invasive as cardiac surgery. Then again, it's amazing the doctors can do what they did. I mean, I've learned a lot about the process and I'm still not sure I believe any of it. You're telling me that some doctor can take little tiny veins and just SEW them into your heart and reroute how your blood flows? I'd call bullshit, but I'm pretty sure that's actually what they do. How is that even possible? It's kinda like my Latin teacher who used to joke about how he didn't believe airplanes could fly because they're too heavy. I'm just glad somebody understands it.

My favorite part - if you can say that under these circumstances - is how a bunch of guys from my dad's work immediately offered to come over and help with whatever needs to be done around the house. Of course the first thing mentioned was helping to rake the yard.

Thanks to everyone who wrote, called, etc.