doodledee

Yesterday was my first business trip since the NWA mechanics went on strike and the NWA management went on bankruptcy. I bought my ticket a few weeks ago - well before the Chapter 11 filing - and at the time I actually tried to show some solidarity with the workers and book my flight on a different airline. Before I shopped, I did enough soul searching to determine that my level of solidarity would tolerate maybe a 45-minute flight time differential. (The NWA flight to KC is around 1:15, so I'd be willing to go up to 2hrs.) The closest I found was a 4 hours route through Chicago. Forget that. My apologies to the overpaid airplane vacuum jockeys walking the picket lines, but I've got work to do.

The airport seemed to be operating at DEFCON Business As Usual: the place was packed, the security lines were long, everyone looked pissed and/or disinterested and most people were carrying a laptop and a latte. I didn't see any picket line, though to be fair I walked in from long-term parking and crossed the skyway into the terminal and I'm thinking the mechanics aren't allowed to enter into the actual airport. Then again, it was like 06:15 when I got there, so maybe the strikers weren't up yet.

Listening around, I heard zero talk of the strike. People just don't care. And I think it's because at the end of the day, everyone just hates the airport. Seriously, what's to like? The slow moving lines? The expensive parking? The way they pack you into coach like a bunch of Dockers clad sardines? The part where they give you a 4oz cup of coffee and offer to charge you $1 for "breakfast trail mix"? The fact that all the stewardesses are old and bitchy instead of young and hot like they're supposed to be? The part about how the plane you're flying on dates to the ORIGINAL oil crisis and if you sit in the last 5 rows the roar of the engine is so loud that even if you scream "CREAM AND SUGAR" at the drink lady she'll still gives you black. Nutshell: there's nothing to like, duh.

So you take all that nonsense and dump it on to a town full of noise biggots (like me) who will never forgive the early 90's state and airline leadership for not moving the airport, choosing instead to continue bombarding the communities they "serve" with window rattling jet noise. And who cares if the "workers" aren't the same "jackasses" who "run the company", as far as I'm concerned it's one big lame enterprise. Blech.

Anyhoo.

Couple of other things worth noting:

• Number of times I had to show my ID before I boarded the plane: big fat zero. I had it out, ready to go. Nobody wanted to see it. And I wasn't the exception, either. I was so flabbergasted when I got into the 'secure' area without showing it that I stood there and watched the people behind me. None of them had to show ID, either. Guess we're focusing on hurricanes now.
• The dude behind me on the plane had a whole row to himself. Even before takeoff he's already stretched across his seats, sleeping like a baby. We take off, reach cruising altitude, descend, land, the whole routine, and this dude just KEEPS SLEEPING. Nobody ever tells him to sit up, put on a seatbelt, pay $1 for breakfast gorp, nothing. You can do that?
• There is no number 3.

Even though yesterday's seven turnover embarrassment of a meltdown by the Vikings left me glassy eyed and numb, I managed to recover in time to get the family on our bikes and pedal down to Lake Harriet for the Minnesota Orchestra's free concert at the bandshell. Judging by the crowds, I wasn't the only one. Seriously, it was probably the biggest crowd I've ever seen at a bandshell concert. (It easily stretched all way back up onto the hill beyond the bike path and the fancy new bathroom building.) We got there right as it was starting and found some great seats right up front on the grassy area to the side of the stage. Be-au-ti-ful.

Nutshell: the sound was spectacular, the crowd was full of kids and dogs and old people with huge sunglasses and everyone was smiling and having fun and there were lots of picnics and general merriment being made. I wish the orchestra came down more than once a year because they put on one hell of a show.

Details and setlist [mnorch]

At first glance the above picture may appear to be 1000 dirty hippies gathered at a Phish show, but if you look closer you'll see that it's actually a 1000 toddlers and their parents being brainwashed by a singing and dancing purple dinosaur. I took it last weekend at the Target Children's Book Festival thing down at Hyland Park in Bloomington. It was quite a scene.

Ok, it really wasn't that much of a scene, but the whole thing was much bigger than I expected. Good thing it was logistically flawless: park-and-ride shuttles from all over the area dropped you right at the gate, where you could pick up your free stuff (pass), go watch a book reading (check), listen to a wacky kids music concert (check), eat some kettle korn (pass), explore all the little tent-booths they had (pass) or just wander around and play in the park (check). They even had the park's canoes and paddle boats available and you could just take one out for free, which we totally did and it was a totally mint day so that was a lot of fun. (No waiting for a boat during the purple dinosaur's set, natch.)

Yes, the bullseye branding was punch-you-in-the-face everywhere, but all in all it wasn't a bad little event. I'd go back.

Official Book Festival Site [target]
Hyland Park [3riverspark]

A reliable source has informed me that Paul Douglas does, in fact, drive a big ass Infinity SUV. I don't know the exact model, so I'll just assume it's the QX monster truck series edition (13 city / 18 hwy).

Paul was last seen driving a lonely exurban road - windows down, music up, searching the horizon for the will to do the right thing.

Infiniti QX [infiniti]
what would belinda do? [doodledee]

• While walking through the neighborhood, I heard one of those BOOM BOOM thumping bass idiotmobiles somewhere off in the distance. After a few seconds of listening it became clear that it was on the same street as me and that it would be passing me shortly. I immediately prepared my best "you are an idiot" angry scowl face but when the car finally went by I was unable to maintain total scowlage, breaking instead into some sort of bewildered / blown-mind half scowl. What I saw was this: a tan Toyota Corolla with its windows down, blasting obscenity laced hip-hop in all directions. The driver was a young woman. There was a 2-year old sitting in a carseat in the back. And there you have it.
• For years Libby has made a spectacular beverage that I like to call "Libby's Famous Lemonade". When it's hot out, there's nothing better. Well it was frickin' hot out this weekend and I was working outside for a while and when I came in looking for something to drink, I naturally asked her to make me a pitcher full. That's when she told me that she didn't feel like it and that if I wanted to make some for myself, the recipe was on the back of the lemon juice bottle. What kind of secret recipe is that?! It's a fraud, that's what it is. The lemonade has no clothes.
• First 3 possessions: 3 turnovers. Nice.

Last weekend I fired up my new smoker for the first time. It was a resounding success, due in no small part to the borderline creepy amount of textbook quality information available over at the virtual weber bullet website. (When I found myself counting pieces of charcoal I knew I'd drank the kool-aid. That site sucked me in like a tractor beam.)

I started with 25 pounds of boneless pork butt*. I rubbed it all over with a bunch of pepper and paprika and some other stuff and threw it on the heat around 11:30 on Friday night. Then I stayed up until around 1:00 watching the temperatures and adjusting the vents and drinking a couple beers and reading the paper and generally just kinda hoping for the best. Eventually I got tired and crashed on the couch, but I set an alarm and woke up every hour or two to check and make sure everything was still going well. And get this: it always was. Like magic or something. Who knew?

Saturday morning I stirred the coals and fired off another couple dozen briquettes to have on hand in case I ran into a fuel shortage. I eventually added a few, just to keep things moving along. Around 3:00 that afternoon - after 15 or so hours of cooking – I took the butts off and wrapped them in foil and threw them into a cooler to rest until dinner. Easy peasy.

And how did they taste? Let's just say that both of Libby's 80+ year old grandparents went back for seconds. I, obviously, went back for fifths.

Conclusion: the wood makes it good.

* - I got the meat at Costco for $1.24/lb. I asked about getting one over at Clancey's Meats in Linden Hills - a store I like and occasionally patronize - but they wanted $4.99/lb. Now I'm all for supporting the small, independent butcher shop backed by local farmers and all that, but come on, I'm not going to pay $125 for a big fatty piece of pork. Who are they kidding with that?

Here is a list of things I expect to find when I grab my coffee and open the paper to the weather section:

1. The forecast
2. A colorful map
3. Maybe some weather trivia or something

Here are some things I don't expect to see:

1. Sanctimonious bullshit editorial content
2. There is no number 2

Given those staunch requirements, it's a good thing I didn't read Paul Douglas' weather blurb on Sunday, isn't it? Oh wait, I guess I did. Whoops.

In case you missed it:

Katrina has left be with questions. Which countries that we've helped over the years will come to our aid to rebuild the Gulf Coast? We're a nation of sitting ducks. Will Katrina force us to rethink the wisdom of building homes on the coast, in hurricane alley? Will American taxpayers allow hurricane survivors to rebuild their homes, in the same vulnerable areas, time and time again? In the wake of damage to Gulf oil facilities, will we finally take steps to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels and get serious about energy alternatives and conservation? Will the slow and steady warming we're witnessing create a new generation of superstorms? I wonder. I'm still hopeful we'll harness new technologies and find the political will to do the right thing. Our weather is a wondrous afterthought as temperatures mellow to august like levels.

I also wonder. I wonder if all this nonsensical rambling means that it's going to rain on my Labor Day barbeque? I wonder if maybe I should ask a weatherman in one of the countries we've helped over the years? Or maybe I should get serious about weather and reduce my dependence on weather "personalities" and start exclusively using NOAA's Online Forecasts. I just hope I can find the will to do the right thing.

Please god say he drives a SOOV in from Elk River every day.