doodledee

I've been away from the net for a few days - but still working at my 'regular job' - and it's been a little bizarre. No email, no instant messaging, no real contact with the outside world. Just going to meetings, sitting in offices talking, taking notes (on paper!), completely divorced from my traditional hyperconnected workstyle. After the second day one of my coworkers made the observation that "this must be what it was like to work in 1975." I'm assuming that was a rip on the lack of technology, not on my sideburns. I'm also assuming he didn't work before 1996.

One of the guys I'm with has one of those fancy ass phones with the blackberry service and the web browser and all that. I tried it out a few times. It wasn't as cool as I thought it would be. The web formats like crap on such a small screen, and in reality it's not even that small of a screen, so you think it'd be better than it is. Some sites weren't bad, but most were unreadable messes. It'd made me long for the time (2 minutes before) when I wasn't connected at all. It certainly didn't make me want to run out and throw down hundreds of dollars for one of my own, which I feared it would when I first picked it up.

My big hope was that when I finally managed to get back online massive innovation would have taken place around airline ticketing websites and I would be able to plug in something like "I want to take a 4 day vacation to Denver anytime in the next six weeks, find me the cheapest ticket(s) during that timeframe." (I know basically nothing about computers, but I'm pretty sure even I could figure out how to write that query.) Well BIG SURPRISE, that particular website innovation didn't happen. In conclusion, some things still make it feel like it's 1975, even though they're the best 2006 has to offer.

• On the issue of pond hockey, I made it over to the pond@calhoun for all three days of the big tournament, though I didn't stay long any of the times. All in all I thought it was a great time. Highlights by day: (Fri) when Brian Bellows was shoveling the rink off before the "former NHL stars" game he accidentally threw some snow on my kid (it was like a hockey baptism!); (Sat) seeing all the games going and all the people there and the sun was out and it was just about perfect; (Sun) watching some good quality semifinal matches and mooching free beef jerkey off the Organic Horizon's snack booth. Lowlights (not by day): the announcer dude mispronouncing Bonin's name before the NHL stars game (come on, he's a local hero); the fact that it was too hard to find out who was on the teams you were watching and/or find the team you wanted to see; and oh yeah, they ran out of stocking caps at the merchandise booth. I hope it comes back next year.
• On the issue of bad talk radio, me and what's his name had another go-round over at KSTP on Sunday afternoon. Believe it or not, we've apparently made the official "final 4" of the competition. I have no idea what that means other than the fact that they clearly need a more a more rigorous talent screening process. We didn't get many calls this time around, but our topics tend to skew more conversational and less controversial so I guess I'm not really surprised. I also figured everyone who would be interested in our type of shtick would be watching football and/or doing anything but listening to talk radio on a Sunday afternoon. At one point the producer guy said he had just gotten a call from a woman complaining we weren't getting enough calls. I thought that was pretty funny.
• On the issue of broomball, we lost our second in a row and have been shut out both times. JoePa took a broom to the face and had to leave to go get stitches. Talk about adding injury to insult.

Lately I've started to notice that more and more things aren't as good as they used to be. (Whoa - I'm suddenly sensing the presence of Andy Rooney. Creepy.) And while it goes without saying that as a blogger I'm totally entitled - nay, expected - to make sweeping judgment calls about the suckage of various things based more or less entirely on my own gut feelings, personally I find that shtick a little boring and lame and I generally try to avoid it. But that doesn't stop me from taking the occasional quick stroll through the Used To Be Good But Now Basically Sucks Hall of Fame and noting such former greats as 'Mtv', 'the Twin Cities transit system', 'cassette tapes', and 'powerbuilder'. And as I bask in their former glory, it's easy enough to convince myself that it'd be fun to try and forecast a couple of potential future nominees. Lucky you.

[For what it's worth I'm keeping these things local, mostly because they're the last few things I made mental notes of and they all just happened to be local. I guess now you know I haven't been out of town for a while.]

• City Pages - Maybe it's just me and my old age and my slowly fading semblance of hipness, but over the last year or so I've started to grow tired of City Pages. Yes, Mr. Perry, we get that you hate Bush and you love the Valerie Flame story. And yes, Ms. Hawkins, we get that you're the only good mother in the history of parenting. And yes, we get that the rest of you think there's nothing to be happy about because everything sucks but somehow you're still awesome in spite of it all. It's just so played out and predictable and gross. To be sure, there are still reasons for reading (Britt Robson's hands-down-best-in-town Wolves coverage, for one) but those reasons are becoming harder and harder to find. [www]
• Winter - I'm no climate scientist - much to my geology degree's dismay - but the last bunch of winters have been a real let down and I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever see a good one again. Sure, we had some snow over the last few years, but it's never deep enough to be legit and from just a temperature perspective the last SUPER cold winter I can think of was maybe like '95 or '96, so we're frickin' due already. I miss you winter.
• Turtle Bread Company - I don't know about the other locations, but the one in Linden Hills *easily* makes this list. A former favorite place of mine, over the last couple of years their prices have gone up almost as much as their quality has gone down. I still pick up bread there occasionally, but I don't like myself in the morning for doing so, and from the casual conversations I've had with a couple of other customers I'm not the only one. Too big, too fast, too bad. [www]
• Drive105 - I probably wasn't alone in hoping that when the MPR fired up The Current last spring that AlternaDisney radio would respond by retooling their playlist in an attempt to catch the wave of newly discovered Twin Cities radio worship. But alas, it never happened. Same old stupid Cure "Friday I'm in Love" song, same old stupid Soul Asylum "Black Gold" song, same old stupid Sublime "Santeria" song, and I swear to god if they play "Tempted" by Squeeze one more time I will literally weep for the pain they're inflicting on all of humanity. (Why won't they stop?) At least their DJ's aren't bad. And to be fair, Homegrown earns them some kudos. So they've got that going for them. [www]

I'm sure I could come up with more, but that's enough for now. And to be clear, I want to point out that I haven't entirely given up on any of the things list above. I'm just saying they're not as good as they used to be and that - if they don't turn things around - they may well end up in the Hall of Fame. I've already got a place picked out for them. Right over there on the end, next to 'St. Cloud State Hockey'. Oh yes I did.

Everyone is doing well.

That was easier than I expected.

Take a Picture of the Moon (Digital or Not) [wrotniak]

The front page of last Sunday’s Strib featured an article about how much caffeine kids are drinking these days and how maybe it’s bad for them and maybe it’s not. It was all very fluffy, but whatever, it was a Sunday and I’m sure I not the only one who appreciates something a little light and breezy a Sunday morning.

In addition to the [boring] caffeine angle, the article also wove in a pseudo-scandalous substory about how today's kids are apparently getting a lot more of their fix from coffee than the kids of yesteryear did. I obviously preferred that part of the story to the murky 'side effects' discussion because it showed how effective the big coffee and beverage brands are at marketing to kids and/or how some kids are just tools who love to be marketed at.

My favorite parts of the article were the 'expose' type anecdotes about 8 year olds ordering cappuccinos and lattes. They even managed to talk with a couple of doof kids on the record about their coffee drinking habits. Here’s a sample:

On the slopes of Wild Mountain near Taylors Falls, 12-year-old [Doof McDoof] chugged a can of Red Bull Energy Drink before a long day of snowboarding. He said he has been drinking coffee since age 5 and got a cappuccino machine for Christmas.

Now let me get this straight: at age 5 – before you were even in kindergarten – you were drinking coffee. I assume you took it black, with a side of fruit roll-up and maybe some goldfish. I call BS, and I’m sure I’m not alone because that’s gotta be the easiest BS call since I told the guys at the office that I lift weights a couple of times a week. And wouldn’t it have been a way better story if the reporter followed-up with Kid McCoffee's parents? (“Why would you give a 5 year old coffee?” "Uhh, we didn't.") Or better yet, have a thermos on hand and make the kid drink a cup right there in front of you. I bet he cries.

But disbelief aside, here's more evidence of the trend from a Caribou barista:

"They want the lattes," said Caribou employee [redacted] at a Stillwater shop that packs in teens and preteens. "They want the holiday specials. They want the mochas. Coolers are big."

Translation: they sell a lot of sickeningly sweet dessert drinks and GO FIGURE the kids can't get enough of them. That leads me to ask a) does that really count as 'coffee' (I say no) and b) is that really a responsible business practice? I suppose on one hand it's really no different than DQ selling blizzards, but it still feels gross to me. Partly because your kid isn't going to go hang out and do their homework at a DQ and bring a blizzard with them to school every day. (Though admittedly that would be awesome on some levels.)

I wonder if it's driven by trying to get the parent's into the store more by offering drinks kids like or if it's driven by trying to get the kids hooked into the habit of coming down and dropping $4.50 on a medium glass of hot milk and a shot of coffee? (Jackpot!) And furthermore, where the hell are 12 year old kids getting the money to buy all these fancy drinks in the first place? Seems like a crazy thing to spend your allowance on. I know I never would have. That's good video game money you're talking about there.

The latest must-have for teens: Caffeine [strib]

My sister was my secret santa this year and no doubt from the moment she reached into the hat and pulled out a little slip of paper with 'dave' written on it she was haunted by the awesome responsibility of finding enough gift-worthy trinkets to adequately stuff my stocking. Either that or she went about her business as usual and then ran out to Target at the last minute. It doesn't matter, she got me some cool stuff.

One of the coolest was a tin of Jiffy Pop popcorn. A total hoot. I hadn't even *seen* one of those in years. Needless to say, it's already been consumed. I broke it out a week or two ago when Libby went to the video store and came home with a copy of Episode 3, a movie I never managed to see in the theater because, well, I wasn't motivated enough to get there. Funny how that works. But like I said, it was her pick, she brought it home on her own, she suggested we watch it. Huh? It was so bizarrely odd that I felt the need to scan the room for hidden cameras and get my "oh no you didn't" face ready for when my trucker hat wearing kid would come crawling backwards down the stairs to announce that he and mommy had just punk'd daddy fer'reals. Except, uhh, that never happened.

So Libby's loading up the DVD and I'm in the kitchen shaking my booty off and swirling the Jiffy on top of the stove, listening to the crackle and sizzle and waiting for the inevitable aluminum dome to sprout AS IF FROM NOWHERE when Libby comes in and kind of stands there and looks at me and my 'technique' and asks if I know what I'm doing.

I [obviously] respond, "Of course I do, I make Jiffy Pop all the time".

To which she responds, "No you don't."

And I had nowhere to go. She was right. I never make Jiffy Pop. And I've known her long enough that I can't claim that I used to make it all the time back before I met her. It's been like 10 years. She'd know if I'd been making it, duh, I would have been talking about it for weeks afterwards, just look at me now.

And it was at that moment that I realized that all my "I do [x] all the time" claims had become null and void. A sad day, to be sure, but I was surprisingly ok with it. Most likely because I practice transcendental meditation. All the time.

Please take your seats, it's time for my 92nd annual best of the year awards.

• Food/Restaurant Find of the Year - Without question, my personal food find of the year has been the discovery that stupid good fish tacos are available right here in the twin cities. Where, you ask? Down at Lake Calhoun at the Tin Fish. Bonus idea: spend the afternoon at the East Calhoun playground with your toddler before you walk down to the restaurant and stuff your face while watching the sailboats. Jackpot of a find.
• Movie of the Year - I'm pretty sure I didn't go out to see a movie all year in 2005, which is probably a first for me, but I gotta admit that I didn't miss it all that much. Of the ones I saw on the DVD, I thought that Crash movie was pretty frickin' awesome.
• TV Show of the Year - The Office wins this one easily for me. I like it both because it's funny and because I get to make fun of all the people who roll their eyes and insist the BBC version is so much better. Nostradoodle predicts it won't make it through 2006, so enjoy it while you can. In other news, pretty much everything else on TV sucks. Turn it off.
• Good Idea Gone Bad of the Year - I read somewhere on the web about a guy who swore by the taste of grilled bacon. I tried it myself. It worked great the first couple of times. Then I got cocky. Good thing I keep a fire extinguisher nearby.
• Transportation of the Year - The scooter. Pretty much everyone I know makes fun of me for riding one, but deep down I can tell they're only like 90% serious and that the other 10% of them is wicked jealous. Beep beep!
• Sandwich of the Year - The panini. I prefer mine with leftover roast chicken, cheddar cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, and maybe a bit of crumbled bacon. Can I get an amen?
• Clothing Item of the Year - The 'shlong' (short/long) aka the 'patel'. The short sleeved t-shirt worn over a long sleeved t-shirt was pretty much impossible to avoid this year, but that's probably because they're so damn fun to wear. We started 'shlong Fridays' at the office last spring. It was a hit then and it's still a hit now. Shlong on.
• Timesink of the Year - I've lost more time to Dime A Dozen than I care to admit. Luckily most of it was between 11pm and 2am, so nobody really noticed.
• Album of the Year - I'm sure it makes me some sort of pop sissy to admit it, but I really liked Bright Eyes' acoustic album I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning. (As for his 'electronic' stuff… ahh, not so much.) Runner ups would be the newly unearthed Monk/Coltrane live recording from Carnegie Hall and – though it just came out - Wilco's new live album Kicking Television. (Live albums really shouldn't count, but whatever, it's my list.)
• Blog Entry of the Year - Earlier this year, the Star Tribune simultaneously launched a newly redesigned newspaper and website. The team in charge of the redesign had a short-lived blog where they talked about the how process of developing and deploying the new look. This post from that blog is just about perfect as far as I'm concerned. Nutshell: they announce the new site is live, the comments fill up with people complaining that it sucks, then the whole fuss dies down and the comments slowly get taken over by spam bots after the blog goes into ignore mode. It's like the whole blog universe summed up in one single entry.
• Gawk of the Year - That giant Red Wing boot that made the rounds this year. I still laugh when I think about it. People just standing around and staring up at a giant boot. "Geez, those are some big laces!" And I was right there with them, loving every minute of it.
• Geek Hype of the Year - I'm sure the Rails fanboys will disagree, but I'm going to jump on the 2005 was the year of AJAX bandwagon. I chose it partly because it's a pretty neat technology, but mostly because it exposes the inability of many 'web designers' to actually 'design' anything. If it's not derivative and obvious, they don't know what to do. That gives me a chuckle.
• Failed Radio Experiment of the Year - I think this one is pretty obvious, thankyouverymuch.