my secret ingredients are chipotles and love

november 15, 2006 @ 22:56

We had our neighborhood chili cook-off last weekend. I was too tired to make mine the night before, so I went to bed banking on juniorette waking me early enough the next morning to get everything fully simmered and tenderized before the 11am shotgun. She didn't disappoint. And neither did the chili, of which there were 10 or so crockpots full, bubbling away on a folding church table in a neighbor's garage. There was also a half keg of beer and a jungle gym thing for the kids to play on. One of those seems normal at 11am and one seems a bit premature. I mean seriously, don't most kids prefer to climb around on stuff in the afternoon? Badump.

My entry was judged to be either second or third place. I'm honestly not sure which, as I had to leave to play soccer right before the formal vote counting took place. (Stuffing your face at a chili cookoff immediately before playing soccer? What could possibly go wrong?) When I came home Libby told me that neighbor.dude brought over my trophy refrigerator magnet said I won second place but the trophy magnet says "second runner up", which I'm pretty sure is pageant speak for "third". Either way, not a bad showing.

Thinking about it, my chili recipe has never won a cookoff. It always shows respectably, but it never wins. I think it's probably because it's just straight chili and not some crazy cheese and shrimp white 4 bean chili2.0 mashup, which is what the winner always seems to be at these things. In fact, check that. Thinking about it some more, the winner is usually just whatever chili has the most cheese in it. Not that I can argue with that. Or with any of it. I mean, it's just chili, and just because some doof is willing to risk jeopardizing the entire institution of chili by melting a block of velveeta into his entry doesn't mean chili justice hasn't been served if he wins. Cheater.

Chili on.

[comments]

  1. dad thought:

    Could "regular chili" ever win in Edina? Maybe if you served it in a giant PBR can and called it "working people's chili"?

  2. dave thought:

    pbr is too ironic of a beer selection and you'd instantly be called out for trying too hard no matter if you were in lilly edina or working people's nordeast.

    kudos for not going with the easy 'cake chili' joke.

  3. red thought:

    Are you still going with the world champion all meat chili recipe? That's my favorite. I can't believe it only won second runner up. Must have done poorly in the swimsuit competition.

  4. dave thought:

    yeah, i use that as my base, but i tweak it slightly. no masa, for example, and i add a few herbs and spices of my own and drop a couple it calls for that i never have on hand. i also add more garlic. and a can of pbr, to keep it honest.

  5. dad thought:

    OK, no pbr. Hmmm. Bud? naah, too commercial. Schmidt? Grain Belt? Leinie? On second thought, maybe bud.... or Miller.

    Definitily would have been Old Style or Schmidt back in the day.

  6. KC thought:

    Just be careful recycling the empty hormel chili cans. The neighbors might take away your trophy.

  7. dave thought:

    hormel chili is reserved for special occasions only. like topping hot dogs.

    and for the record, it's a trophy magnet. and they can have it when they pry it from my cold, dead, chipotle stained fingers.

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