my trophy said 'speed racer' on it

Just who is that handsome man holding up the 'number 1' sign while sitting in an Italian made go kart capable of going 0-40 in 3 seconds? Um, doy, that's me, right after I put an old fashioned kart style beat down on the rest of my co-workers. How big of a beat down, you ask? Well, I'm holding up the #1, aren't I? And you know what the #1 means, don't you? Um, yeah, of course you do. So I guess there's no need to explain it, then. But still, what if this means that I'm supposed to quit my job and be a professional Italian go kart driver? Looks like I have some big decisions to make.
This all went down in Saint Louis over the weekend. The rest of the time was spent in work meetings. Except for the part on Friday night where a belligerent Hoffmaldo pushed me into a fountain at the office complex we were staying at. To be fair to Maldo, though, I was kind of asking for it. And by "kind of asking for it" I mean "stumbling a bit and maybe kind of an easy target". That's what friends are for.
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Maldo thought:
I believe this post is lacking something very important, and its not a breakdown of how I pushed you slightly, but you actually 'fell' into the fountain.
PHOTO COURTESY ED HOFFMAN