doodledee

Meet Monica. Monica lives here in the neighborhood with her family. We hang out at the park and have playdates and the occasional chaotic family dinner party and/or bonfire type thing. She's a riot. She's married to a guy in marketing. He's also a riot. He's a lot like me, just better than I am at everything sports related. I call him Dave+1. Oh, you play soccer? He was all state. Hockey? Team captain and MVP. You ski? Yeah, he heli'd in Alaska for a couple of seasons. With a grizzly bear on his back. Did I mention he's a riot? It's not all one sided, though, I'm better at some stuff - like yard work and math - and one time he had a bat in his house and he came whimpering to my door to ask for help and that was totally sissy, so it's not like he's superman. I also think I'm taller. But who's measuring.

Anyway, a while back D+1 needed some website work done so he naturally turned to me because he knew my job has something to do with computers and we all look alike to him. So I helped him out and it wasn't that much work and he broke out the "if there's anything I can do for you" routine and I made a note and we shook hands and that was that.

Did I mention my wardrobe is a mess? Because it is. And even though that's a whiplash tangent, it's still relevant. Because I have no clue how to buy clothes. Never have, never will. But guess who does? That's right: Monica. She's a "stylist". She knows about things like "cuffs" and "fabrication" and "socks". She bought clothes for Leann Chin (!!) and styled for Macy's and did tons of work that relies on color matching skills that I simply don't have.

So here's the part where I tell you about how I parlayed my geek skills into a personal styling/shopping experience. It started tonight when she came over for a baseline meeting. A "what do I have to work with purge-a-thon spectacular" if you will. We talked and gawked for a while and she laughed and I tried to defend myself and she kept laughing and at one point she said something like "oh, these are 90% polyester!!" though that may not be an exact quote because it was hard for me to understand her what with her talking and throwing up in her mouth at the same time. I think it went well.

So now she's got her shopping list and her idea book and all I have to do is sit here and wait for her to knock on my door with The Pants and The Shirts. It could happen anytime. It's all very exciting. Maybe a little too exciting, even. It is just pants, after all. But still, they could show up *anytime*. Pants! At your door!

Also, I'm a little concerned she's overly invested [emotionally] in this whole thing and that she's going to be upset when I refuse to wear some killer stylish orange quilted puffy blazer thing she got for me. I asked her about it and she swears she's just having fun and that she won't be offended either way. I'm not sure if that means I can be offended or not, but as long as she's cool with it.

Off we go.