doodledee

I just made a piece of toast. Best part: I got to open a brand new jar of peanut butter. Second best part: I finished off the jar of jam. I mean seriously, how crazy coincidental is that? It's like the intersection of two kitchen waves. What's the term for that again? Hmm, maybe just 'intersection' now that I think about it, but whatever, it's still felt like I was snacking in some weird multidimensional toast universe while rolling snake eyes 4 times in a row. I know, spooky.

To state the obvious: yes, now that I write it down it seems much less crazy, but trust me, if you would have been there watching me make that piece of toast, you would have been loving it just as much as I was. And yes, this was way too random navel gazey, I know. I'll make it up to you later.

Or maybe now? Because I've been working on trying to find a good time to use this analogy I came up with the other day. At the time I was over at that Party Card Outlet store at Knollwood picking up some balloons. I parked the Jeep, opened the door, looked down, and noticed a dirty condom on the ground next to my parking space. As I carefully stepped around it I thought "Huh, finding a condom in the Knollwood parking lot... that's gonna make a great analogy someday." But now it's been a few days and I haven't had the chance to work it in and I'm starting to worry I'll forget about it. So instead of writing it down in my Big Book of Analogies - in which it would be the first and only entry, obvs - I'll just write it down here and then when I finally do work it in you all can smile and nod knowingly and say "good for him, he finally got to use it." It'll probably go something like "blah blah blah is like finding a condom in the Knollwood Mall parking lot: sure you're a little disgusted, but are you really that surprised?" I know, it's genius. Simmons would have used it 14 times by now. Maybe I just need to work on being disgusted more often. Lucky for me Hoffmaldo called earlier requesting a Taco Bell lunch tomorrow. My wait may finally be over.

That toast story ruled. You know I'm right.