doodledee

I was going to write a list of things I was thankful for but all I could come up with was Leah McLean and Swiss Cake Rolls. So how about we talk about the Black Friday instead? Is it too late? I mean it's Sunday, sure, but I took the weekend off to enjoy the holiday and barfing kids and yes, eat an entire can of jellied cranberry sauce in two days. Seriously that stuff is good. Tonight I was rocking up big wok full of fried rice for dinner and I just had the last little bit of it sitting next to the stove in a bowl and I couldn't stop eating. I expect a handmade thank-you note from my kidneys before morning.

So the Black Friday stuff. I got up and went out. Like I always do. Because I can't resist the sociological angle of the whole thing. It's everything that's wrong with our society wrapped up and stuffed into a 6-hour doorbuster extravaganza. And I'm totally not going to miss that. Also: the deals. Sometimes hot, sometimes not, but I got a nice little set of drill bits at Sears for like $9.99 so that was cool. That was at the Sears down in Eden Prairidise. Where 20,000 rubes stormed the mall when they opened the doors at 1am. (For the record, this is the most accurate use of 'rube' in the history of this blog.) Every year you people make me laugh with your stampeding and your jumping up and down as the cameras roll and the deals are handed out. I hope you got your discount GPS thing or whatever it was you were busting down doors for.

And can we talk about that for a second? Because who decided we all need stupid GPS mapping gadgets now? My throat is sore from having them crammed down it and it's only been 4 days. I read in the Times how somebody was declaring this year "the Christmas of GPS". And all I could think was "huh?" You know what I declared this Christmas? "The Christmas where HD-DVD and BlueRay are still confusing and broken and instead of figuring it out the electronics companies are going to convince us we need GPS's instead." Well played, giant multinationals, well played. Full Disclosure: this morning I caught myself wondering if I maybe needed one. Then I punched myself in the mouth.

I didn't make it out until like 9:30 or so and the doors were long since busted, which was fine because all I was after - beside the people watching - was a set of drill bits and maybe the closet organizer kit thing at Menards (sold out). I talked with the manager guy at Sears for maybe 10 minutes. You can tell he really gets up for the day. I've talked to him other years, too. He always points out how long Midge or whatever has been standing at the registers. "Hasn't had a break since 5:30 this morning!" and I say "Is that even legal?" and he laughs and says "No!" and then he directs the next person in line to the next available register. Good stuff.

Overall I lasted about 90 minutes. After that the lines and the crowds and the rubes get to me. Which is weird, because crowds at other places don't. Like the Fair or whatever. So I'm guessing it's mostly the rubes. And the GPS's. It's a deadly combo.

Also: this was the first year I've noticed so much coverage of the coverage of black friday. NPR did a whole story about it. Metata, anyone?

Can't wait 'til next year.