doodledee

About 3 months ago I decided I was going to have a fake mid-life crisis this summer. Tattoos, motorcycles, girls, the whole shootin' match. It's gonna be great. Ok, really it was mostly about a motorcycle. The rest was just a carefully orchestrated distraction designed to draw attention away from the motorcycle. And I'm happy to report that so far it's working beautifully. How beautifully? Let's just say that I spent the last two days turning slow figure-8's in a parking lot in Eden Prairie to earn my motorcycle endorsement and as of now Libby is mostly freaking out about the possibility of a tattoo. Genius!

The endorsement process is a 3 part class. First comes a 4+ hour classroom session. I went last Wednesday. You watch a DVD and break into small groups and hammer thru this giant workbook with like a bajillion questions. It's brutal, especially if you spent the prior two nights cramming for the [written] State of Minnesota motorcycle permit test, which most everyone in the class had done. I'm only 40% joking when I say the highlight of the night was the turkey on rye sandwich I picked up at the Kwik Trip on the way from work to class. Seriously, it wasn't a bad sandwich.

The following Saturday and Sunday were two 5+ hour parking lot training sessions. They provide the bikes, you provide long sleeves, a helmet, eye protection, long pants, and boots that cover your ankles. There were 10 of us in my class and everyone was a complete novice except for 2 guys who had maybe kinda ridden before. I'd say on par we were all very much beginners.

The class goes really slowly at first. We spent an hour putting on our gear, picking out our bikes, getting on the bike, starting the bike, stopping the bike, shifting with the bike off, simulated braking, etc, etc. Literally an hour plus before we rolled more than 3 feet. And it totally flew by, btw. As did both days, really. Highlight of this phase was when one of the ladies in the class put her helmet on backwards. The greatest rookie icebreaker in history. Nobody else had to worry about looking silly after that. So great.

The rest of Day 1 was learning the clutch and picking up your feet and stopping and starting and turning slowly and then cornering and all that beginner stuff. It progressed quickly, but for the most part everyone was keeping up. And the teachers (pictured above) were so great and patient and the sun was out and it was a really good time. The only real issue was that we took so many breaks I somehow managed to chug my entire thermos of coffee in like 2 hours and I was crazy jittery from like 10-noon. Whoops!

It rained overnight, so day 2 started out on wet pavement. Class picked up right where we left off. I picked up by stalling my bike on my first roll-out. Breaking news: still a novice. Eventually we got into swerving and traffic and harder breaking skills and this crazy counter balance figure-8 in a box drill that I actually ended up mastering even though I have no idea when I'll ever run into that situation. Unless I join the Shriners, I suppose. Hey, it could happen.

Eventually you take the 'endorsement test' and - assuming you pass, which everyone did, even the super nice girl who killed her bike like 9 times during the test (!!) - you get your permit stamped and then you're legal to ride at night (won't) and ride on the interstates (won't) and carry a passenger (now accepting applications).

Overall the whole experience was actually a lot better than I expected it to be. Not the classroom part - it was lame and slow and redundant - but the parking lot stuff was really well done. Should that have been a surprise? Probably not, but it was.

Onward to bike shopping. Tally-ho.