doodledee

Here's the note I got on Saturday morning from Hoffmaldo. He had learned the night before that I was at the big Britney show at the Target Center.

I probably need a huge breakdown either by blog email or phone that covers:

Crowd
Sound
Singing
Stage performance
Wierd factor
Unintentional comedy
Overall show

This is the part where I say "once a project manager, always a project manager". So great. Seriously. Also: this is the first breakdown we've ever initiated that didn'tinvolve 'food' as a bullet point. But that's ok, I had dinner at home before the show (stuffed pork chops!) anyway. I'll mix in a few non-Maldo bullets, too. Away we go:

• Background - My friend Melissa and I had been bantering about going to this show since it was announced way back whenever. It sort of fell off the radar for awhile, then on like Wednesday I was trolling craigslist for Phish Alpine tickets and omg there's Brit stuff all over the place! Let's do this. A few days of eBay and CL combing and suddenly it's 6:00 on Friday night and some lady from Woodbury is on the phone and she's willing to unload her [insanely great] tickets for way below face 2 hours before show time and there's drama and confusion with her story but she seems legit and she's willing to meet us in the parking lot of the White Castle over on 94 and Lexington and we're. so. there. And she was, too. And here's a wad of cash and here's my tickets and every cop who drove by probably assumed I'm just buying weed and maybe some part of me is ok with that? I mean if one had pulled up and it was like "um, no, officer, it's Britney tickets" and he'd be all "really?" and I'd be all "yeah?" and I'd show him and he'd be all "no, really?" and I'd be all "can I just go dance now?" and he'd be all "you damn right you can" and then we'd all high-5 and grab some chicken rings and onion petals for the road. Best.
• Preshow - We got into downtown about 7:30 and the crowds and traffic were pretty thick. Eventually made it to a nearly empty Ramp B. No idea where everyone else parked. Weird. Out on 1st Avenue, Brit's bus - or at least a giant pink bus with her name on it - was parked in the rockstar valet spot at the Graves (or whatever it's called now) and like everyone was taking a picture of it. Total hoot. People would yell and grab their cameras. Borderline freakout in a fun way. It was great. Some really legit preshow energy. Into the packed lobby, escalators, stairs, glance the $40 shirts (ha!) and find our seats around 8:20. Scheduled start was 8:30. Curtain up at like 8:35. This certainly isn't a Dead show. On like almost every level you can think of.
• Crowd - I'm gonna go 90/10 female to male and that's probably not too far off. Demographically probably in the mid-20's for the most part, but the standard deviation would be pretty large. Lots of 30's, and plenty of [late] teens. I didn't see too many of the "wtf that kid is way too young to be here" situations, but there were a few, and seriously, wtf. Lots of glamor, lots of spray tan, lots of eye makeup, lots of energy. Lots and lots of SCREAMING (shrieking?), lots of dancing, I saw a few girls/ladies crying, everyone was taking pictures, it was one of those type of shows. Also: packed. Though the "VIP GA" area on the floor was oddly empty. Whatever. Oh, also this: a lot of dudes wouldn't get up out of their seats, choosing instead to sit an - presumably - act cool. Like "you can drag me here, but I'm not gonna have fun". Boo. Seriously.
• Pussycat Dolls - So yeah, I say "I'm gonna know like none of these songs" and then they open with that song that's all "don't you wish your boyfriend was hot like me?" or whatever and omg totally I know this one and then maybe like I kinda knew one more I think? Who knew? This is what I get for only having AM/FM in the jeep and keeping a finger on the dial at all times. So yeah, the Dolls were shouty and loud and there was all this stage strutting and choreography posing and many shout outs to "Minneapolis!!" and people would scream and it really was a "warm up" act in the true sense and that was cool to see. Build the vibe, build the hype, everyone up, wave your hands in the air, now watch while we strut around the stage some more and pose.
• Setbreak/Brit Entry - The crazy circus theme was in effect thru the whole thing, of course. Between sets these circus type people came out and did acrobatic tricks and juggled and tumbled and stuff. It was cool. Some lady would flip up in the air and 4000 flashbulbs would go off. Maybe check flickr, even if only half are posted, that's still like 2000 pictures of acrobats, and acrobats are awesome. Then the lights go down even more and the round curtain projects this screaming clown to introduce the show and it's all kinda half spooky-clown / half party-clown and I don't know how to do clown math or I'd equate that to something for you. Sorry. But yeah, then dancers and huge music and then here's Brit in her skimpy ringmaster costume, being lowered from the ceiling in a giant ring/trapeze thing, primed and ready to get her circus on in front of 15000 loyal. And holy balls did the place go crazy. Moment!
• Sound - It's the Target Center. It's gonna be awful. It didn't disappoint. Tho it wasn't tragically bad like I've heard it before. (Mid-90's Dylan, anyone? Ouch.) It was louder than I would have expected, esp the Pussycat Dolls who opened, but it was stilldiscernibly clean in some spots. LOTS of bass, obvs. We were in the lower bowl and maybe got some better sound as result? Who knows. That building is just a brutal place sound wise.
• Singing - So yeah, I think Brit maybe sang one song? The rest were all lip synced and/or heavily reinforced with prerecorded stuff. So I'm not sure that really counts as a category. The Pussycat Dolls just sang/yelled/danced over prerecorded music. That was a total first for me.
• Stage Performance - Spectacle! Like 9 costume changes? Magicians Assistant, ringmaster, lots of other random skimpy circus themed outfits. Overall this is why a doof like me goes to this type of thing. It was certainly a "show". All kinds of props and dancing and show-womanship. No disappointment this way at all. Song wise it was heavy on the late stuff, but she threw plenty of the "hits" out, too. Bream's got the full setlist, complete with costume change annotations. Wow.
• Weird Factor - Like the part about the dude next to me was some dad who was there with his 16 year old daughter? And it's like oh look, there's Britney in a naughty police officer uniform and I'm like crazy embarrassed on his behalf. Tons of that. Esp when he started taking like 500 cellphone pics. (See also:unintentional comedy.) Also this: the whole "freak show" segment of the show kinda lost people around me. It was certainly a lot of stuff to watch, but you could feel the crowd issuing a collective "wtf?" while some of that was going down. Weird factor alert!
• Unintentional Comedy - The people watching was absurd. I could do a whole post just on this. The 50 year old Japanese guy who was in the next row by himself? Really? The fact after the show like 25% of the women were carrying their shoes around the Target Center? Just the crushingly palpable drama vibe in the whole place? Thetrain wrecks? Seriously the TSA should have been there. It was great. Also: confetti cannons to end the show? I mean really? Love it.
• Overall Show - Hard to grade. It was a great spectacle, it was totally a blast to see, but you grade a show like this? Ok, I'd give it a B-.

This was longer than I expected it would be. I should have just called him.